Previously on...

Guys, it’s been quite a week.

Farquad has taken the last three days off, and it has been blessedly quieter. Not quiet, but quieter.

I took a regional magazine thing into our proofreader. It’s one of those that tells you what sort of arts/ entertainment things are going on around town. The kind you pick up on the way into or out of the grocery store, and then leave in the cart without reading it. Anyway, our proofreader is one of my favorite coworkers. He’s in his 80’s, and I’m pretty sure I woke him up from a light snooze when I took it in. I asked if he’d proof it for me, and he asked what it was. “It’s Teapot Entertainment Bimonthly.” He sighed and goes, “Oh, crap.” He then complained about whether some of the people sending in the articles read them first or not. (It’s unlikely.)

Yesterday, Boss’ Boss’ Boss’ (My great-grandboss) and boss’ boss’ walk past boss’ office. GB just says hi, and continues on up the hall. GGB (An old, short, and kind of hateful man) stops and goes, “Boss, did you miss the meeting?” “No,” says Boss. “Well, you weren’t there.” No, says Boss, he wasn’t there, but he didn’t miss it. “Well, who’d you get permission from,” asks GGB. Boss says from his boss (Who is GGB’s son) Well, GGB is not having it. AT ALL. “In the future, if you are going to miss a meeting, you better ask the person leading the meeting. If you want to keep your job.” This was not said in his office in an attempt to be quiet. This was in the doorway of boss’s office, in front of the newsroom. Now, we all know that nothing’s going to actually happen, because we are basically working with a skeleton crew as is, but what GGB doesn’t realize, is that if he did fire boss, everyone else wouldn’t be able to work either.

Someone came in to interview for the open reporter position. I went up front to make some copies (aka spy and make copies) after they called back to let Boss know that the person was here. They’d already gone into the conference room, but I asked the receptionist about the person. She gives me a physical description, and says that they seemed nice. I asked if she thought they could handle Jane, my new counterpart. She very sweetly answered that she thought they could handle Fergus just fine.

Today, they moved our deadline two hours earlier than normal, because we’re having some sort of charity fundraiser cookout. Fine, cool. I get to see several people, including Boss, get pies to the face. Awesome. While I’m not thrilled about having to get up before six to get here an hour and a half earlier than I normally do. What I have a little more issue with, is that we have to do portions of the Sunday paper on Fridays. So after the party, which isn’t guaranteed to be much, we get to come back inside and work for another four hours while the rest of the building goes home. (Our proofreader asked what all this nonsense in the parking lot is about. He is clearly not impressed.)

Fergus is bugging Jane. He asks all sorts of questions while she’s trying to work, none of which were about work. A few minutes ago, it’s about Spongeshow. I LOVE spongeshow, says Fergus. Do you think sponge is gay? “I do not care if he’s gay,” says Jane who is trying to work. “I think it’s stupid.” Fergus just walks two feet towards his desk, then turns and wants to know what cartoons I watched as a kid.

Boss demands a 9v battery. I go and ask the guy in charge of the press, because he’s most likely to have one. He doesn’t. The front office doesn’t. Boss is freaking out. He needs a 9v, and he needs it now. He’s usually more even keeled than this, but I’m trying to find him one. No one in the building has one. Is there something we could take one out of? The guy who runs the press comes in, brandishing one. He remembered he’d had one under his car seat forever, but he tells Boss he’s not sure if it’s any good. Boss touches it to his tongue, and says it’s good. Then, you can see the expression on his face as he realizes he’s put something in his mouth that’s been on the floor of someone’s car for no one knows how long.

I previously wrote this on the Friday July 27 open thread on Ask a Manager.