I found them!

So since high school, and all through college, any time someone said something witty or funny or particularly stupid, I would make myself a note. That's how this blog came to be born. When I started this job, I was taking the notes on paper, and then taking them home, lest someone see. I then promptly lost the papers, but this weekend, I found them. Here are a few of my favorites. Upon looking through them, many are about Fergus.

One Saturday night (which is the best time to listen to the police scanner) two people pulled guns on each other, someone else put scissors in their ear, and they found a dead body. This was after a pig escaped during transport and ran into the road. (It was returned without harm.)

A man called in, and said he didn't want his name or phone number out there. It's never good when people start out a conversation like that. He was a racist, and I wasn't surprised he didn't want people to know.

A call came in over the scanner. A woman had called 911, because her mother believed she was being attacked by her coffee, and also Satan.

Our wonderful proofer, who has since retired, was out for a few days when his wife passed away. On his THIRD day back, Fergus offered to set him up with someone.

Fergus likes to talk to GGB whenever he comes through. GGB usually protests that he has a meeting, but when he doesn't, I like to fantasice about getting in my car and never coming back, because they talk for a long time. On one such occasion, Fergus told GGB all about the affairs people in the community had/were having. Some of them were just his opinions.

Fergus once referred to someone as a "Communist Democrat Yankee." he then had a bad conversation in terrible Spanish about lawyers.

And here's one on me. Sometimes, my mouth runs away with me, and one of these days, it's going to get me in trouble. Farquad was talking about how he doesn't believe in marriage anymore. (He's divorced.) I was busy trying to, you know, actually work, and wasn't interested in hearing how another girl rejected him online. So I told him that marriage isn't a unicorn, it does exist. He looked shocked, and sat down and was quiet, but I couldn't tell if what I said was that shocking, or if he was just surprised that I'd said it.