Headless chicken in a flaming dumpster

Y'all. I need a vacation. 

I don't even know what I do all day. Really. 

I go in, work for a while, then its suddenly almost four and I haven't had lunch, and wonder why I'm so hateful. Hangry is real. 

I really like my job, I do. But dang. I keep thinking eventually I'll hit a rhythm. I think that rhythm has been hit, and unfortunately, it's the tune of one of those super fast songs they play at Zumba. (I think. I took one Zumba class in college, and that was enough. No thank you.)

There are many, many times that I feel like I'm running around like a crazy person. I try not to be a hand holder, because that's not my job. But sometimes, I feel like my job is to herd cats. Or kindergartners on a massive sugar high. 

I'll be working on something at my desk, then my boss will ask for something. While I'm working on that, someone will come in with a pay or benefits question. Then the phone will ring. Oh, the phone. I think other people are allergic to answering it.Then someone with far more schooling than me (and possibly with engineer in their title) will need help figuring out how the printer works. And at least once a week, a salesperson without an appointment shows up and tries to sell us something, and I get to run them off. It's like I'm my job, tech support, house mom, and gatekeeper all at once. And like I said, I love my job. But the attitude of 'I need this right now' is what gets to me. There are two people in the building that get to ask that of me, and they are the two that least often do.

On Monday, I had received 64 emails by 10:45. By the time I left a little before 5, I had 132.

The company I work for is going through some restructuring, which only adds to the madness. This week, we finally officially transition to the new payroll system they said we were going to be on in March. When paystubs hit tomorrow, it's going to get crazy. I'm not looking forward to it. People have a hard time being patient and understanding sometimes. I agree that they need to be paid what they are owed, but dang. I'm doing the best I can. If it was my fault, I would take responsibility for it, but there are limited things I can do to make it better right away. I don't have that much pull. If I did, I would get paid more. 

There's a guy who keeps accusing 'me' of stealing his pension. Not me specifically, but the company, and he's talking to me when he says it. Our company did away with the pension program, and people are not happy about it. I told Boss and Grand Boss that if I had stolen his pension, like actually taken it for myself, I wouldn't be at work. I would be on an island somewhere they don't extradite to the United States with my feet propped up. However, I did not have anything to do with the pension program, so I guess it's off to work for me. 

Except next week, cause I actually am going on vacation, and I'm super excited. I haven't been on vacation in.... four years? It's been a while. I got vacation when I was at the paper, but I didn't have any money, because I was working at the paper. So I just took the week or whatever it was off, and hung out around the house. Which was relaxing, but I'm excited to be able to go somewhere. I'm going to the beach, and when I told my boss I'd like off to go to the beach, he said no. I was about two seconds away from going, "Excuse me?" when he told me I didn't need to go anywhere near the beach because I'm so pale. Which is true. I told him I was more going shopping near a beach. This time next week I'll be gearing up to go! And them come back to mountains of work. Yay. 

Abuse of power

Bonus post, yay! It would be longer, but 4 a.m. comes very early. It hurts to think about.

So last week, we had training and meetings going on. It's part of my job to bring in lunches when the situation calls for it. Friday, I did not feel like packing my lunch. I knew this on Thursday. I was feeling lazy in advance. So I sat there, and thought to myself what reasoning I could come up with to bring in lunch on Friday. I came up with something, cleared it with my boss, and ordered from a local restaurant that's been a hit before, and that I like, and that delivers (a definite plus).

People went wild. They were all so excited, you'd think I hadn't brought in food twice that week already. They all said thank you so much, and that I'd done such a great job. A couple of people went almost over the top with their praise. I had to try not to giggle. I called the restaurant. Ordered what I wanted. Paid over the phone. Opened the door for the guy when he came to deliver. Took the lids off stuff and sat out utensils. Ate. That's it. I didn't mind the thanks, at all. It was just super funny to me that I was doing it for entirely selfish reasons, and people thought I was so nice for it.

My evil plan is working.

The delicate flower what's her name

Had a guy come up to ask a question. I could see him, but he couldn’t see me. He asked to see Boss, who was out that day. He says, “Oh, well where’s….. that girl?” Alrighty then. Never mind that I’ve been here six months. It’s shocking how often people don’t use my name. Just now a guy walked up to my office, and asked someone else if “she” is here. Just take two more steps forward. I’m right here at my desk. My name is not hard to remember or pronounce, and I am not Voldemort. I am the only one with my name in the building. Not that hard.

I don't necessarily mind when people call me nicknames, or even pet names. I live in the South, (and it sounds better if you exaggerate the accent on south) so it's something I'm used to, and everyone that does it is always very respectful. It's not rare that I go through a day with a few dears, the occasional sweetheart or hon, and one guy calls me pretty lady. These people are almost all my father's age or older, and I think half of them feel like I'm their kid, because I'm the same age as their children.

What I do have a problem with, though, is the what's her names, the "that girl"s, and the she/her. I have a name, it's there for you to use. If you forget for some reason, you can glance at my business cards that are right there on the desk in front of you.

Some days, I'm not sure the guy across the hall knows my name. Logically, I'm sure he does. I share a name with one of his daughters. He often calls me sunshine, which is nice. I am the age of his daughters, so it's not weird. However. He's called me the wrong name twice now. He keeps calling me Carrie. My name is not Carrie. There is a Carrie that comes sometimes. She and I look nothing alike. At all. The first time, he kept talking and made his way into my office. Which was good. Cause I was wondering if Carrie had come in and I missed it. The second time, I just ignored it, and he sorted himself out. I don't think he knows that he's called me by the wrong name. 

One possible consequence of people feeling sort of like I'm everyone's kid (I'm well into my mid 20's but have been reliably informed by at least two seperate people on seperate occasions that I look about 17) is that they feel like I'm delicate. I don't mind people doing things for me, opening doors, offering to carry obviously heavy packages, all helpful. Where it turns, though, is when they take it too far.  

For example, one day shortly after I started, there was a little puddle of grease in the hallway. It was about the size if my hand, a different color than the floor, and in the middle. Someone came through to wipe it up, which I appreciated, but his reasoning was that he didn't want me to trip.

Another time, I was borrowing a cart from the stockroom. It was empty. The guy that works in the stockroom told one of the mechanics that I needed help pushing it up to the front. The guy immediately agreed. Which was nice, but super unnecessary. 

Last week, I was bent over at the waist to cut one of those ties off a box of paper. Not to pick it up. Just to snip that tie thing, whatever it's called. My boss came through and told me to be careful, I was going to hurt myself. Like, what? I'm sorry. If I hurt myself by bending over, I think I need to just go straight to the hospital. I'm not 80. I mean, I act like it sometimes, but still. I was fine.




P.S.
I finally got around to picking names for my coworkers, and you can find that page labeled The Cast by clicking the hyperlink, and also in the menu on the right. I finished it after I wrote this week's posts, so I'll start using those names Friday and going forward.

What is normal, anyway?

I've thought all this year that I'd have more free time when X happens. When I finally got a boss, when we switched to a new timekeeping system, when this or that happens. I thought everything would even out and I'd have a "normal" workday.

That hasn't happened yet. I hit six months at this job in two weeks, and it feels like it's been at least a year. I  feel like I've hardly paused for breath. I think that's been evident in how often I've been posting and the kind of content I've shared.

It was easy to post at the paper. There was always stuff going on to write about, but the cast was small and predictable. Here though, there's a lot I can't share. Partially because, being in HR, there's confidential material I'm dealing with. There's other stuff that's just too specific, and wouldn't make sense to people outside the building. The people are different. I see more people, and they're focused on their jobs. We don't share a lot about our personal lives. Both because they're professionals, unlike some others I've worked with in the past, and they have their lives, at least on the outside, more or less together.

I'm not going anywhere, because I really enjoy doing this. I miss it the weeks I can't get a post out. I need to take the time to do more things like this, because I really do love it. I've had some health issues recently, nothing too serious, but it's making the little time I have off all the more precious. I'm hopeful that I'll have a resolution soon, and start feeling better.

My living situation is also hopefully about to change, not necessarily for the better, because I love where I'm living now, but it's time for a change. When it does, I'll be taking a vacation from work for a week to get the move sorted out, because I am not dealing with that and work at the same time. No thank you.

I'm working on a way to label my coworkers similarly to how I did for the people at the paper, so I can include more details in my posts, instead of this person said this. The entire place is full of stories, I just need to figure out how to tell them.

Unsupervised

So y'all. This week is my chance. Boss is going to be out of town starting tomorrow, and there's like five or six people out at various times the rest of the week. Who knows what kind of trouble I can get myself into.

Of course, when I told my boss this, the best example I could come up with was to sit in my office with the door locked and eat an entire cake by myself.

Not the best, I imagine. Also, I couldn't actually do that, because even if it wouldn't wreak havoc with my blood sugar, I dont know that I could finish a whole cake by myself in one sitting. Like three cupcakes though, I could do. But that just seems sad.

Finally Friday

Whew. What a week, y'all.

I think the investigation of the crack pipe continues today, Boss was out yesterday, and I was not going to handle that in his absence.

I just spent half an hour looking for a rolling box that one of the contractors left here last week. You don't realize how big a plant is until you're looking for a one by two box. It's big. I finally found it, and it wasn't a box, it was a cart. There's a difference, especially when you're shaking down supervisors to see who's seen it.

I have now injured/poisoned two people with the candy tub in my office. The first person was eating cinnamon candies, and wondering why they had sores in their mouth. A week in, they remembered they were allergic to cinnamon. And there's these gross taffy like things in there, I didn't think anyone actually ate them. One of the managers did. And then heard/felt a crunch. Pulled out the candy, and the crown came with it. So that's fun.

It's Friday though. Hallelujah.

Alrighty then

I'm still here, I promise. It's been an absolutely wild few weeks at work, yet I'm not entirely sure where my days go.

Anyway, a couple of highlights.

Yesterday, one of the supervisors was worried that he had offended me. He got called to the big boss's office for something, so he walked past my office without saying hello. He stopped back by when he was finished to let me know that he was not ignoring me. I did not think my feelings were that delicate.

And last night, someone did drugs in one of the bathrooms. We don't even know what it is. Someone brought what I'm assuming is a crack pipe to the office this morning after they found it. So that's fun.

In a late breaking update, our quality manager got in a fight with a stapler. The stapler won.